Wednesday, October 05, 2005
28 Laws of Attraction: #3 Over-respond
OVERRESPOND TO EVERY EVENT. BY OVER-RESPONDING INSTEAD OF OVERREACTING, YOU EVOLVE, WHICH IS VERY ATTRACTIVE.
There’s an element of choice and taking responsibility in over-responding. You’re not simply a leaf blowing in the wind, reacting to situations beyond your control. You’re in charge, being true to your vision and plans, going some place cool, yet fully in the moment, aware and intuitive. That’s very attractive, isn’t it? Being with someone like that is inspirational.
The kind of over-responding I’m talking about then, isn’t piling it on, higher and deeper, not about volume or overloading. It’s about groking each situation in its fullness, accepting it as an opportunity to connect fully with others and joyfully express yourself.
‘Grok’ is from Robert Heinlien’s, Stranger in a Strange Land. It’s a Martian word meaning total, holistic comprehension, a wise knowingness that transcends thinking styles, time and culture. When you Grok something you get it totally, accept it, and are comfortable with it.
Over-responding also lets you get off the treadmill by learning new behaviors and life skills. You’ve probably noticed that the same kinds of things keep happening to you. Don’t deny it, it happens to me, and I’m not that weird. Check it out. Think back over your life. If you’re being real, you’ll notice that the people may be different, but the kinds of situations and problems are the same. In many cases, the people are the same, too.
This doesn’t mean you’re a failure or being punished. It means these situations hold some new information or behavior you need to evolve. If you look at recurring problems and situations that way, and learn what you need to learn from them, you can move on. Over-responding is a way to get the message and move to the next level.
There’s an element of choice and taking responsibility in over-responding. You’re not simply a leaf blowing in the wind, reacting to situations beyond your control. You’re in charge, being true to your vision and plans, going some place cool, yet fully in the moment, aware and intuitive. That’s very attractive, isn’t it? Being with someone like that is inspirational.
The kind of over-responding I’m talking about then, isn’t piling it on, higher and deeper, not about volume or overloading. It’s about groking each situation in its fullness, accepting it as an opportunity to connect fully with others and joyfully express yourself.
‘Grok’ is from Robert Heinlien’s, Stranger in a Strange Land. It’s a Martian word meaning total, holistic comprehension, a wise knowingness that transcends thinking styles, time and culture. When you Grok something you get it totally, accept it, and are comfortable with it.
Over-responding also lets you get off the treadmill by learning new behaviors and life skills. You’ve probably noticed that the same kinds of things keep happening to you. Don’t deny it, it happens to me, and I’m not that weird. Check it out. Think back over your life. If you’re being real, you’ll notice that the people may be different, but the kinds of situations and problems are the same. In many cases, the people are the same, too.
This doesn’t mean you’re a failure or being punished. It means these situations hold some new information or behavior you need to evolve. If you look at recurring problems and situations that way, and learn what you need to learn from them, you can move on. Over-responding is a way to get the message and move to the next level.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
28 Laws of Attraction: #2: Release the Future
UNHOOK YOURSELF FROM THE FUTURE.ATTRACTION WORKS IN THE PRESENT, NOT IN THE FUTURE
Now is all there is. The past is over, the future hasn’t arrived, today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present. Living in the moment in flow is the highest form of sanity. Trying to repair the past is not sane – think about it. And striving for the future, a common delusion we all succumb to from time to time, is built on the now. So, if you’re miserable now, what kind of future will you have?
Six things to do to let go of the future:
Perfect the Present – a better future will find you, because you’ve made the most of the present
Stop Motivating Yourself – pep talks, affirmations, tapes, books are ‘force’ measures, effective in the short run, for limited objectives, they may keep you from really enjoying what you have and realizing you don’t have to change a thing until it’s easy and natural to do so
Quit Over-planning – having a vision, fully drawn plans and clear goals, if they’re real to you, and not just a head trip to eliminate fear and risk, have a place. But hold them likely. Change is a constant. Opportunities abundant, fresh and unanticipated in the moment. Tenacious loyalty to old plans…, well…think about it. Flexibility and learning as you go may be more useful.
Give Up Trying to Become a Better Person – the person you aspire to be is already present, awaiting the right conditions to emerge. Mistakes, faults, weaknesses, and ego are those conditions. Use them. Don’t try to avoid them and be perfect
Catch if-then-when Thinking – “if this happens, then I’ll be OK,” or “When I get this, I’ll be happy,” a clear signal you’re seeing this moment as a mere stepping stone to a better one in the future
Hang With Happy People – it’s possible to be happy and successful in endeavors that express heart-felt values. Come from that place and you’ll attract others coming from that place
Now is all there is. The past is over, the future hasn’t arrived, today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present. Living in the moment in flow is the highest form of sanity. Trying to repair the past is not sane – think about it. And striving for the future, a common delusion we all succumb to from time to time, is built on the now. So, if you’re miserable now, what kind of future will you have?
Six things to do to let go of the future:
Perfect the Present – a better future will find you, because you’ve made the most of the present
Stop Motivating Yourself – pep talks, affirmations, tapes, books are ‘force’ measures, effective in the short run, for limited objectives, they may keep you from really enjoying what you have and realizing you don’t have to change a thing until it’s easy and natural to do so
Quit Over-planning – having a vision, fully drawn plans and clear goals, if they’re real to you, and not just a head trip to eliminate fear and risk, have a place. But hold them likely. Change is a constant. Opportunities abundant, fresh and unanticipated in the moment. Tenacious loyalty to old plans…, well…think about it. Flexibility and learning as you go may be more useful.
Give Up Trying to Become a Better Person – the person you aspire to be is already present, awaiting the right conditions to emerge. Mistakes, faults, weaknesses, and ego are those conditions. Use them. Don’t try to avoid them and be perfect
Catch if-then-when Thinking – “if this happens, then I’ll be OK,” or “When I get this, I’ll be happy,” a clear signal you’re seeing this moment as a mere stepping stone to a better one in the future
Hang With Happy People – it’s possible to be happy and successful in endeavors that express heart-felt values. Come from that place and you’ll attract others coming from that place
Monday, October 03, 2005
The 28 Laws of Attraction
Thomas Leonard, the man who founded the modern profession of Coaching, Coach University and Coachville, hypothesized 28 Laws of Attraction. The idea of these Laws is to practice them and make yourself irresistibly attractive to other people, so you're not chasing them, but they're drawn and flowing to you. I'm going to try to do one of these for each of my next 28 posts. As with all my posts, please feel free to dialogue with me about what you read.
One: BECOME INCREDIBLY SELFISH.
WITHOUT YOU, THERE IS NOTHING, AND ATTRACTION ISN'T POSSIBLE.
The idea here, and this is true of each of the 28 Laws, is to come from the inside out. You can't give what you haven't got. Take care of yourself: your soul, head, heart and hand. My dad was in the Pacific during WWII and he told me the Navy had a saying: "One hand for the ship, one hand for yourself."
I call this the inside/out, "Be, Do, Have Approach." It works this way: Be happy, Do (work) from that place, and you'll Have all the toys - cars, houses, relationships, career. This is diametrically opposed to the 'normal' way of doing things, especially here and now in American Culture, the outside/in approach.
The outside/in approach, the "Do, Have, Be Approach." This approach says: Do - work really hard at the highest paying job you can find (whether you really like it or not, afterall it's work and work is not supposed to be fun), then you'll Have the money to buy the toys and support your family, and you'll Be happy.
Which approach are you using, right now? Which makes the most sense to you? Which works best for you? There's often a gap between what we think and believe and what we do.
One: BECOME INCREDIBLY SELFISH.
WITHOUT YOU, THERE IS NOTHING, AND ATTRACTION ISN'T POSSIBLE.
The idea here, and this is true of each of the 28 Laws, is to come from the inside out. You can't give what you haven't got. Take care of yourself: your soul, head, heart and hand. My dad was in the Pacific during WWII and he told me the Navy had a saying: "One hand for the ship, one hand for yourself."
I call this the inside/out, "Be, Do, Have Approach." It works this way: Be happy, Do (work) from that place, and you'll Have all the toys - cars, houses, relationships, career. This is diametrically opposed to the 'normal' way of doing things, especially here and now in American Culture, the outside/in approach.
The outside/in approach, the "Do, Have, Be Approach." This approach says: Do - work really hard at the highest paying job you can find (whether you really like it or not, afterall it's work and work is not supposed to be fun), then you'll Have the money to buy the toys and support your family, and you'll Be happy.
Which approach are you using, right now? Which makes the most sense to you? Which works best for you? There's often a gap between what we think and believe and what we do.
